Writings



Writings

Terry And Ronald

Writings

Matt Kaye's Most Liked Facebook Status Updates

THESE ARE NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER. 1 - Based on no evidence whatsoever, I assume only the worst, most horrible people on the planet use the middle quality gasoline. 2 - I felt bad seeing a spider have to run across a freshly painted wall, but then I realized his cool... read more

A Plumbing Company Brainstorms A New Name

Al: You guys, we have to come to some agreement about the company name. Bob: It’s gotta have “Rooter” in it.. Carl: No, I wanna be the “Drain Busters”!!! Al: That sounds like we destroy stuff. Carl: Shut up. No it doesn’t. Bob: People love saying the word “Rooter”. I know I do. ... read more

Dear Catherine Keener...

Dear Catherine Keener, I must return the sled you sent me. It was a very nice gesture and I appreciate the sincerity and no-strings-attached phrasing on the card, but I simply must refuse. I certainly will treasure the time you took me sledding and how we drank so... read more

Persons Vexatious to One's Constitution"

While I consider myself of a jovial disposition and given to a generally moderate and accepting temperament, there are types of persons which I find difficult to abide. and indeed should they be shipped off in airless, tightly nailed boxes to some remote desert, I would think myself unlikely to... read more

My Prostate's Fine, Terry

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No Biggie

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Matt Kaye
was born and then did a few things in some places. He lives in Los Angeles, writes fiction, performs comedy, and creates art. He looks forward to the “sweet release of death” which to him implies candy will somehow be involved.

 

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