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Matt Kaye's Most Liked Facebook Status Updates

THESE ARE NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER. 1 - Based on no evidence whatsoever, I assume only the worst, most horrible people on the planet use the middle quality gasoline. 2 - I felt bad seeing a spider have to run across a freshly painted wall, but then I realized his cool... read more

A Plumbing Company Brainstorms A New Name

Al: You guys, we have to come to some agreement about the company name. Bob: It’s gotta have “Rooter” in it.. Carl: No, I wanna be the “Drain Busters”!!! Al: That sounds like we destroy stuff. Carl: Shut up. No it doesn’t. Bob: People love saying the word “Rooter”. I know I do. ... read more

Dear Catherine Keener...

Dear Catherine Keener, I must return the sled you sent me. It was a very nice gesture and I appreciate the sincerity and no-strings-attached phrasing on the card, but I simply must refuse. I certainly will treasure the time you took me sledding and how we drank so... read more

Persons Vexatious to One's Constitution"

While I consider myself of a jovial disposition and given to a generally moderate and accepting temperament, there are types of persons which I find difficult to abide. and indeed should they be shipped off in airless, tightly nailed boxes to some remote desert, I would think myself unlikely to... read more

feveredbeavers.com

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V.I.L.F.

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Matt Kaye was an English musician and songwriter, best known as the drummer of Led Zeppelin. Kaye was esteemed for his speed, power, fast right foot, distinctive sound, and “feel” for the groove.  As a youngish man, he invented the cotton gin which helped shape the slave-powered economy of the antebellum South.  An infamous “robe-wearer”, Kaye received a great deal of recognition (plaques/trophies) for his extensive robe collection and in his later years would often wear nothing else and was quite cavalier about whether or not said robe was properly “closed”.
A certain class of ladies enjoyed this about him.  He lost a great deal of his fortune gambling on jazz music in the 90′s and died penniless in an Atlantic City youth hostel from scurvy.  A fan of donuts, PCP, and hubris, he is widely remembered to be one of the greatest drummers in the history of rock music by many drummers, other musicians, and commentators in the industry.  He is survived by his cat, Agamemnon.  Services to be held at Bethel Presbyterian, Thursday, 7:30pm.  Casseroles encouraged.
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